Pulling back and reevaluating my online presence. . . albeit how small it is! :-)

I have really felt the LORD challenging me lately to consider how I am spending my time, especially as it pertains to me in my online time spent reading/reading blogs and catching up with friends and family on Facebook. I am trying to do all of this in addition to my FT work (online), FT homeschooling (PT books/PT online), and email time and responsibilties (online). My computer(s) are on and running almost all day and evening because of my work, and that makes it easy to be hopping from place to place as a distraction from working when I need to take a "break" like most people get in the outside working world.

Hopping from place to place and checking in with email and Facebook for instance make me feel connected to adults as I work at home FT and homeschool my kids at home FT. I am starting to see how much of a distraction it is becoming to me though. I am not seeing how I am best using my time with such a lack of structure as I start something and then hop online to check in, finish something for work, help a child with a school issue, clean the breakfast dishes, etc. I am trying to do too many things at the same time. I am a great multitasker and list maker, so things get accomplished every day. . . but I am not sure if I am fully engaged in what I do when I am doing it. That is making me feel disjointed for some reason and I am desiring to make things more streamlined and organized, even though I like having my "freedom" in that area. It's awesome being able to work from home and homeschool - - but what a challenge for me in time management!

I have also been feeling that God is telling me to pull back and not have so many irons in the fire and so much information floating aroung the 'net that I am responsible for keeping safe and/or monitored. I prayed about it and He told me to make all of my blogs private, other than this one and my (other neglected) cooking blog! I have also been feeling a check in my spirit with sharing too many pictures on FB/other places as I have made more connections there too. In some ways I feel like I am drawing a hedge of protection around my family. It seems extreme, but God wouldn't let me rest until I made some changes last night. (I am not implying or even suggesting that everyone do this, but for some reason, God is having me do this for my family, and like everything, seek the Lord for what to do for you and your family. He knows best.)

This is another shocking thing that I have found myself doing lately, at God's leading. I have felt His Spirit showing me that I am looking at other blogs for inspiration and ideas, and after reading them, I am clicking away with a feeling of condemnation or inadequacy at what I am not doing "right" rather than taking the "meat" of what I am reading, letting the words I have read inspire me, but then spitting out the bones of what will not work for me, so to speak. I have spent more time reading them than reading the Word of God and looking to it as my yardstick for my marriage, mothering, homemaking and homeschooling lately. I desire to change that!

Now there is nothing wrong with reading blogs, looking for ideas and inspiration online, and sharing in fellowship with other women. I am a WAH/SAH mom and need adult interaction, badly! BUT, everything I read and see on other blogs that work for other women and their families will not work for me. I am following the LORD as they follow the LORD, and our walks both glorify God, but we each have different steps that we take in our personal walks with God. All of us are unique and called into different areas of ministry (while still being home and family centered), and as long as we seek to serve and glorify the LORD in all that we do, He will lead and guide us into His perfect will for our lives. The fact that I can't dedicate myself 100% to FT homemaking and homeschooling because I also work at home FT does not make me less than God's chosen one to live this (crazy, blessed, tiring, amazing) life that He has chosen for me.

There I said it, and that wasn't easy!

I am making a renewed committment to pray and read the Word first rather than log on to the 'net in the mornings. I am always trying to take advantage of time to complete some of my work tasks ASAP, but I am feeling like my time could be more of a blessing to myself and others spent doing something else first, like spending time with God and more quality time with my kids before we start school.

Since this is a day of sharing what is on my heart, I have recently also come to the realization that my photography business is not meant to make me famous, admired, or bring me money enough to quit my "day" job, although that would be nice, in some ways anyway. God blessed me with a camera (that is broken right now:-() to be a blessing to others. I have always felt that way from day one, even with others thinking that doing photography as a ministry is so strange! Why don't I advertise and promote myself? The LORD knows my heart and will open the doors and give us the means to fix my camera when the time is right. I can praise God even in the midst of having a broken camera! AMEN!

I am not sure how many people read my blog, but I thought that I would share some of these things that are on my heart. I hope to continue reading blogs that are encouraging to me as I have time and blogging as I have time, perhaps once a week. I also need to work with my web-developer to tweak some things on my photography website to reflect my change in perspective. . . .

I love you and may the LORD bless you today, and always.

The Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord protect you and give you His peace.

Amen!