My praise report - Saved from death

(My son Joshua, our "miracle" conception,

and one of his first pictures.)

No, this isn't a post expressing the news that I am expecting again, although I would love to be. . . . I have had something happen this past week that I can't ignore and I feel that must be shared.

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I really don't even know where to start, actually, but the verse at the top of this post is really starting to become my life verse in so many ways. As a young girl, I couldn't wait for the time that God would lead me to the man He planned for me to marry. I wanted nothing more than to become a wife, housewife (complete with an apron on;-), and eventually, a mother of many children. I was encouraged as a young woman to "not waste my mind" and go to college to "fulfill my potential" - but I would have been content to have married young and spent my youth pursuing domestic paths. (God has used my education to help our family though, and for that, I am grateful and humbled.)

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Throughout my life, I have come to know in a personal way that our God is an awesome God and always wants to bless us. . . . I can say this with certainty since I have been a woman who has lived thorough the horrors of domestic violence and the subsequent unfaithfulness and desertion from my first husband. As a result, I became a single mom, working 12 hours a day as a preschool teacher, so that I could still be full-time mom to my young daughter during that time. I have experienced the joy of restoration when God brought me a loving man to be my husband and the father to my daughter. We suffered a miscarriage together of our first child, conceived on our honeymoon, but then rejoiced in the birth of our first daughter together 16 months later. We have weathered the storms of my PCOS diagnosis and the fears of never conceiving anymore children. Imagine our surprise to learn that we had a child, a son, on the way that following year. Two weeks to the day before our son was born, we lost our business and all financial certainty. . . .

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As you can see, it has taken many years and prayers to get to the place where I am today, and please know that I am not claiming to have arrived at some level of perfection. I know that it is God's blessings that I am married to a man after God's heart who loves me unconditionally, and I am a mother of three children. I have also been able to find a job to work at home, and I am able to do my best to be a homemaker, even in the midst of the daily life of making a living as an online teacher. I love being able to be a keeper of my home. I don't claim perfection, far from it actually, but I desire to serve the LORD by being faithful to serve Him by serving my family. I know how blessed I am and I wouldn't trade where I am today, surrounded by these precious ones, for all that the world could offer me.

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There are things that happen in our lives, however, that wake us up to the tendency we have as human beings to take for granted the things that we don't think we are. . . . Who of us is guaranteed our next breath, meal/paycheck, or heartbeat except for the grace of God? If you had asked me a week ago if I took my loving husband and precious children for granted, I would have sad NO without hesitation. I went through an experience this week, however, that has taught me that even as a dedicated mother and wife, I was not living in the moment and allowing the stresses of life to distract me sometimes.

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So many people don't know just how many hours I have to work based on the reality of losing our family business two years ago and now the inability to sell our small home. (We have been renting a home for ourselves and renting out the other home until we can sell it.) Things have been rough to say the least and I have caught myself thinking, "When I can stop working so much I can do_____________", or "I need to do__________ and can't _________ with the kids right now". I was basically living for the future date of "being in a financial situation to where I can stop working" to have enough free time and energy to start investing more of myself in my husband and children. I have been dealing with the working mom's stress of balancing two full-time jobs - my "paying job" and the wife/mom/homemaker duties. I feel like I never have enough time to do it all - and guess what - I can't!

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I have really been thinking about these issues this past week because everything changed last Sunday night when my two year old son fell down 10 stairs in our home in front of my very eyes. He opened the baby gate and fell head over heels down the stairs - - - and I was powerless to reach or catch him and prevent the terrible accident that could have taken his life here on earth. When it happened we were in the midst of getting the three kids prepared and off to bed for the evening and I was absorbed in my thoughts of how much work still awaited me on the computer after getting them to bed. I saw and experienced first hand how quickly life can change. . . . and I was powerless to protect my son because he was faster than I was and too far away to catch. Let me repeat - I was powerless to save my son - and I couldn't believe how quickly he could have been gone from us forever. (He is OK, by the way, by the grace of God, and as his mom, I realize that there was nothing I could have done to keep him from doing what he did. He was right behind me following me, and the next he was falling down the stairs

a little farther than one arm's length away.

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I have never been one to feel the need to climb the ladder of success and make a name for myself at my job, but I do feel like God calls us to do our best at whatever we do. I humbly admit to you that I have never tried to neglect my marriage, children, or home for the sake of wowing my boss - - - but I have allowed the stress and obligations of this world to distract me from being as mindful of the many times and opportunities He gives me to invest pockets of time and teaching into my children. By default, life takes everything out of us, and we have to FIGHT to be the ones He has called us to be. Being the mom and wife I want to be doesn't happen by accident. . . . I must not let one moment pass me by. Redeeming the TIME because the days are evil!

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My son, my only son, could have died last Sunday night. Did it matter at that moment if I had all of my work done, that the house was needing work to be "company" ready, or that we had various obligations needing attention. . . . ? NO! Everything else faded into the background when I saw my son almost die an arm's reach away from me.

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It brought to mind what happened with Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter, Maria Sue. My heart goes out to that family, and now I feel like God has given me a glimpse into the feelings and thoughts they must be experiencing right now, albeit on a small scale. God saw to take Maria and leave Joshua, and I don't know why, but I trust Him in this and I am reminded again to be eternally grateful for each moment that He gifts me with each of the ones I love for the rest of my life. I was before, but now, that truth really hits home in a personal way.

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I am not exactly sure how to end this post. . . . This week has been so stressful and very emotional for me and the rest of our family. There are so many more things that have happened that I didn't take the time to touch on in this post. Praise God for his strength and mercies. I do want to leave you all with encouragement to remember that Every Day is a Precious Gift, and to not waste a moment dwelling on those things that we can't change or control and that our enemy wants to use to distract us from truly living life. Because He Lives, I can face tomorrrow - Amen? One thing I can say as a result of this experience is that every time I hug my son closer to me and give Him back to the Lord again as His son, my heart will be saying a prayer of thanks that God has seen fit to lend him to me for one more moment. I could have been planning a funeral this week rather than reading him stories, giving him baths, and hugging him one more time.

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May God bless you and keep you.

Love,

Gina